When the bonds of trust and closeness that we form with others are disrupted, the results can be devastating to relationships and mental health. Unhealthy attachment issues, sometimes referred to as attachment disorders, are commonly experienced in childhood but can last into adulthood if they go untreated. Thankfully, they are usually easy to address with the help of a professional.
In this article, we’ll take a look at what an attachment issue is and some ways to recognize it in yourself or in someone you love. We’ll also discuss some methods of overcoming this type of emotional dysregulation to foster healthy connections that will improve the quality of your life.
An attachment issue is when an individual’s healthy attachment to a caregiver or their ability to regulate emotions and cope with stress are impacted by past experiences. This is usually caused by trauma or inconsistent care-giving, and it can lead to anxiety, depression and trouble in relationships. It is also common for people with attachment issues to struggle with self-esteem and a lack of confidence in their abilities.
There are varying types of unhealthy attachments, including anxious, avoidant, disorganized and disinhibited. According to Mary Ainsworth’s research, these styles arise from different types of childhood experiences. Children who have insecure attachments often have difficulty regulating their emotions and connecting with loved ones, which can have a negative impact on mental well-being and relationships throughout their lives.
Most children who have attachment disorders were exposed to traumatic events or inadequate care-giving at an early age. They may have had physical or emotional abuse, or been in out-of-home placements such as residential programs, foster care and orphanages. It is also possible for children to develop these problems if their primary caregivers die or become incapacitated, which can be emotionally devastating.
Adults with attachment issues may be able to identify some of their own triggers, such as fear of abandonment or feelings of insecurity. These may make them feel like they aren’t able to trust others on a deep, emotional level and tend to keep everyone at arm’s length. Other symptoms can include having a difficult time expressing their emotions, and a tendency to overreact when challenged.
People with attachment issues may also struggle to cope with criticism from their loved ones because of the fear of being abandoned. They may jump to conclusions that their loved ones hate them or want to leave, which can damage a relationship and cause them to retreat from it. Fortunately, it is possible to overcome these fears by learning to open up about oneself and establish a stronger sense of trust with loved ones.
For parents with children who have attachment disorders, the best thing they can do is to be consistently loving and supportive. They can also try to maintain predictable routines and schedules, as these may be soothing to kids who have trouble coping with change. They can also be mindful of how they speak to their kids, avoiding harsh language and exhibiting calmness. They should also be available to reconnect after conflict, as this can help them to rebuild a trusting bond with their child.